Nov 19, 2019

5 Things NOT To Say To Grieving Parents & Our Freeschoolin' Week

Things Not to Say to a Grieving Parent & Unschooling Blog Article Title Page

Losing a child is hard.

And though some things can make it easier, there are a few things that truly make it harder.

In no particular order, here are 5 questions/statements people actually say at the loss of a child.

How did it happen? Do you really want to have asked that? No, really. Is that the question you'd want to answer after losing your child? If the parent is offering up the information, great, If not, let it go. You don't need details to love and support a grieving person. They are in a better place.

Belief systems vary with families so assuming you know where their child has gone since they passed can be extremely triggering.

I felt the same way when my (insert relative/relation here) passed. Child Loss is unlike any other. If you're not in the know through experience, count yourself lucky. If you are, I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you all the love.

Everything happens for a reason. Even if this is true, no one, and I mean NO ONE, wants to hear that from someone else about the loss of their child.

Give it time. This implies that the loss will somehow get easier with time, that we will move on at some point from our grief, and that simply isn't true. Grief is not something one moves on from. It's something we learn to grow and evolve with. It changes and looks different for everyone.

What To Say (If you actually mean it.) I love/care for you. I am here for you. Do you want to talk? I want to help. What can I do for you?

It's ok if your help is turned down. Sometimes it's the offer that is the comfort for a grieving parent if they aren't ready to accept help. It can be hard to know what to say, so just know, I am appreciative of everyone who has been supportive and helpful with their intent no matter what has been said. In the end, we know that hurt or disrespect is almost never the motive and take each loving offering with a grateful heart.

If you don't know, our family lost my adult son, Skylar, this past May and we have been journeying through grief together since then. Here is Our Story.

THIS WEEK It was 6 months ago exactly on Sunday that Skylar passed so we took it easy as it was very heavy emotionally. However, we did get up to some fun because life is to short not to!

Our car needed winter tires and new wiper blades so we headed off to Craft Auto, our awesome garage! (Thank You Craft Auto!) There is a thrift store nearby so we always go there while our car is being worked on.

Hope found and purchased a perfectly working regular sized Hatchimal for 25 cents and spent the next few days not only playing with it, but creating a collar, leash and bed for the little guy. We talked about how much a new one cost in the height of their popularity and she was not only shocked, but proud of her frugal find. (As were Jaze and I!)

Hope got into baking this week and not only helped Jaze bake some organic all spelt copycat Red Lobster cheddar bay biscuits, she decided to make a batch of a organic, spelt coconut oil brownies all by herself!!!

It snowed some more so of course we had to get outside to play!

The coolest thing we got up to this week was attend Hope's first ever parade thanks to our dear friends with whom we had a great time. Hope was excited to take the bus and be in the city with her friends for the evening. Though it was pretty loud for her, she loved the experience and so did we.