May 13, 2019

Mother's Day Madness

I Love Being A Mother!

But it wasn't always this way and my mother did not teach me positive things about Motherhood, nor did she understand it. My mother competed with me. Like her Mother did with her. She was jealous of the closeness she witnessed with Hope and I. She was passive aggressive about her feelings towards me and Hope. And thankfully, I could see that it was all her, not Hope or I, that incited these feelings for my mother, and that she alone could change these negative patterns. Sadly, she decided to utilize avoidance indefinitely in 2015 so she is no longer in our lives and we respect her choice. And learn from it.

I am also estranged from my beloved first born son, now in his mid 20's. Though not his choice to begin with, it is now. I was an abused and abandoned teen mom raising him and terrible trouble befell our lives. For his privacy, I keep the details to myself and those close to us but long story short, we were torn apart by circumstance, deep unhealed wounds and a corrupt agency. I send him love every single day and never forget him, nor have replaced him with his sister. I can't see Hope's face without seeing his. It is bittersweet and a challenge to be grateful for the gift of Hope now while being reminded of what we lost. My son is still very troubled and I ask that you send him love if you will. I have hope that one day, we will be safely reunited and develop a healthy relationship. I am beginning to see the gift of Mothers and Motherhood.

Through my Mama friends I have learned to unlock my own nurturing side and not only have I become a better Mother for my kids, but I am healing the parts of me that needed a better mother too. *tears* Thank you dear dedicated, unconditionally loving Mothers out there who think your 24/7 job goes unnoticed. You're not only raising your sweet babies but you're helping those who didn't have you in their lives become what their babies need now. You're changing the world.

You're a real live hero. Happy (belated) Mother's Day!

This Week

Our week was filled with campfires, making a flip raised garden bed and fun in the park with awesome members of our local Un/Homeschool Club. We also visited a garden centre and fed the homeless on Mother's Day where we met up again with dear Homeschool friends and enjoyed our time together helping out those in need.